There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize