so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
