Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
