He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
