Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
