did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my poor anus
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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