I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
