So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
