Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't tell me you're on acid again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
