the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
