She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
