btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
