you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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