You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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