how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
