At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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