Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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