Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This is the high leading the old right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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