She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
