How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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