the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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