ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
