In America we eat man semen.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
