What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
