youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
