could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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