I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
