wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Shame - the story of my life.
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