Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
