I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
