Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
