I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
