420 ftw
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
