I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
