This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
