david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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