I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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