ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
