God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
