I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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