when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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