i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
