i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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