Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize