I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
