I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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