I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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