I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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