Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
