well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
