You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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