Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
