So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
