ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize