Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Bring me that man meat
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
