Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
