i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
