Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
