Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
