What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
