Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
