i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
