i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize