I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
