She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
