I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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