i don't like sucking hair
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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